Face-To-Face with... the Right!

Don't read my blog if you're a Republican.

Much like yesterday's post, I do have to amend that and state that if you strongly identify yourself with Bush's style of Republicanism, you're the type of Republican who won't be too happy with my blog.

There's a large group of people who call themselves Republicans, but they are really fundamental, born-again Christians. These folks are totally against abortion. Since that's the Republican platform, they are Republicans. But over the past 20-30 years, they have taken over the Republican party. I think it's a shame that so many political leaders have allowed this to happen, but that's where the money is.

Allow me to discuss a few examples of Right Wingedness. The first I know isn't strictly a Repub issue, but it certainly slants that way.

Read the opening paragraph to this article about Prop 8 from SF GATE:

A federal judge has ordered sponsors of California's Proposition 8 to release campaign strategy documents that opponents believe could show that backers of the same-sex marriage ban were motivated by prejudice against gays.

This confuses me. Why? Because I didn't know there were any other legitimate reasons to back Prop 8 and be against same sex marriages. After all, they only had two "public" arguments.

Their first was that the definition of marriage has always been between a man and a woman. Those who state that are either ignorant or liars. We know that Ancient Greece and Rome both had same sex marriages (Nero was married to one of his Eunichs). Biblical records (which I wouldn't use in any other argument, but the Christians seem to like that stuff) are full of multiple wives.

Their second was that they were protecting marriage. This shows that people who supported Prop 8 had shaky, unstable marriages. It also shows the ability to completely ignore the concept of divorce. Something I want to write about in a future blog is whether Conservatives know how to define the word "Optional." As The Daily Show pointed out many years ago, if gay marriage were to be legal, it would not be mandatory. So for me, since I'm not gay, I wouldn't try to marry a dude. And if a dude tried to marry me, I would say no. Repubs know this one: "Just Say No."

So what's left? Their third argument, which isn't the public one, but what everyone was thinking: It's icky.

Our good Republican friends also love to bash Democrats for being "Tax and Spend" Liberals. And here's where the modern Republican Party has fallen apart. If you're going to be the opposition to that, you need to stop spending. Don't start an unjust, unneeded war that you can't afford. But then again so many of their friends made a lot of money. And since trickle down theory works SO WELL, our economy is booming right now . But yeah, Obama spending all this money in ways that the rich won't get richer - that ain't flying, folks. That money (not the money thrown at Iraq and put back in the pockets of the wealthy) is going to bankrupt our grandchildren. Here's the kicker - in general, I agree with lower taxes and smaller government. But I have no common ground with the current stand.

But public amnesia is important to the Repubs. Look at the ridiculous debate over Obama's speech last to kids about education last months. Our need to support our President changed with the color of the Commander-in-Chief's skin. Do well in school is now indoctrination.

On a mild tangent, I got into a mini-Facebook argument with a Right Wing friend from high school about this issue. This was a friend of mine from late high school and early college. While we disagreed politically on everything, we got along well enough. I hadn't talked to him in a few years until he added me as a FB friend a couple months ago. In this case, he wanted to turn it into an issue, and I wouldn't go there, since there was no issue. A couple days later I noticed that I was dropped as one of his friends. Since that was almost the only contact I had with him recently, it has to be why. Was the argument too intense for him? I don't know. I'm not shedding any tears over him leaving - it just seemed lame.

I think I have my biggest reaction to Republicans when they jump on the Christian bandwagon and attempt to tear down science. Global Warming? I honestly don't know enough to given an answer. But I know this much - conservation actually saves money. Also, there's a shitload of money to be made over the next 30 or more years in the green movement. Shouldn't that alone satisfy the Republican platform? Well no, because of two reasons. The first is that their current wealthy friends don't want a new wave of entrepreneurs. They want the cash all to themselves. The second is that Global Warming is SCIENCE BASED. Science starts with an S and so does Satan, so therefore it's evil.

And you say you want some evolution? No no, the Republicans aren't having any part of that. Again, opposition to evolution is a Christian idea. Republicans don't have any real reason to attempt to change school standards to accommodate for Intelligent Design any more than Dems should. It sucks that they have aligned themselves with liars like Kirk Cameron (two blogs about his lying lies HERE and HERE). It sucks that Christians lie to teach this point. And to those Christians who don't lie about it - those Republicans who don't lie about it - sorry. I hope you get a louder voice (or if you have one already, spread that word)to stand up against them to give an alternate viewpoint. And honestly, if you want to read a blog from a Christian with common sense, HERE is a good place to start.

And if you want to learn just one little fact about science, here's the most important fact: Science is Real.



To wrap it up, it's easy to understand the appeal of the Republican Party. It's because on the outside they promote the fundamental ideal of Capitalism. They promote the American Dream. Anyone, if they work hard enough, can grow up to make it. The sky's the limit. You can be as wealthy as you want. That's how they get voters. Everyone wants the possibility to be rich someday. Keep the taxes of the rich low because someday that might be me.

The problem is that the rich folks' club has exclusive membership. And you aren't invited. Honestly, if you're pulling in a healthy six figures or more, vote Republican. As long as you're looking out for yourself and your assload of money, keep voting that way. It's the people who make less than that. People who make less than I do. Voting Republican? Really? Because they hate you. But they love your vote. Keep voting, idiots!

The God's Last Gasp!

Don't read my blog if you're a Christian.

OK, now that the warning is out there, allow me to be more specific. If you are religious yet don't want your religion to be challenged, you might not like my blog. I'm going to state and downright imply that you are wrong for believing what you do. If you're sensitive to that, well, you should have stopped reading a while ago.

I want to write about this thanks to our good friend Glenn Beck. In this clip, he blames Atheists for everything.



The specific part I want to discuss is at 1:46 - he talks about "filling The Void." This is something that really stuck with me from the few years that I tried on Christianity (it didn't fit). The pastors always talked about "The Void." This is some kind of Jesus shaped hole somewhere in your body that can only be filled with, of course, Jesus.

I do believe that some kind of hole does exist. I think it's what took me to the church to begin with. I did feel some kind of emptiness. There was a void. I went to church in search of answers. I did get a lot of answers, but none of those answers were absolute. In fact, most led to more questions. I couldn't quite figure out why Jesus or God (or are they the same? One of the answerless questions) wasn't filling that space for me.

So I did something that dumb people wouldn't do. I stopped going.

I really, really wanted to end the blog right there. So consider the rest the prologue.

If I tell you that you can get electricity from a dog's ass by cranking its tail, you would probably be skeptical. If you were a little gullible, you might even give it a try. But how stupid would you have to be to keep cranking? The church had no answers for me. My "void" needed to be filled with answers. It slowly became clear over the next couple years that there was an answer to every question. No God.

Let's look at just one question: Why is there pain and suffering?

Religious answer: God has a plan that we can't possibly understand. There is a heaven in which we will all be by his side. God, who is all-powerful, has a perfect plan. While it might appear that he couldn't figure out how to do it without pain and suffering, we just can't understand the plan. And while we might be tempted to wonder why a God who is all powerful doesn't seem to be able to convey his plan, it's our fault. About 6000 years this girl made a guy eat some fruit because of a talking snake, so we don't get to know. And that's part of the plan, too. So suffer, bitches!

My answer: No God.

To me, it makes more sense. The miracle and beauty of science has filled the void. I'm comforted by believing that when bad things happen it's not part of some cynical plan from above. In one of Penn Jillette's podcasts, I remember him talking about the death of a family member and feeling peace and comfort because of his Atheism.

If all of this is part of God's plan, then nothing we do matters. Pain and suffering will be here until he pulls the plug on the whole thing. We can't stop it. With science? wow - the hope! With enough advancement, science can cure disease. Science can end hunger. Will it happen? I don't know. But with science, it's a possibility. Science gives real, tangible knowledge. And that's what fills the void.

Nothing Can Stop the Blog!

BLOG-A-DAY MONTH PREAMBLE: A couple years ago I asked for some topics to write about. I got a couple of suggestions then never wrote about either. One was why I became a teacher and the other was about They Might Be Giants! This year I'll cover both. But I want more topics. I'll get to them eventually. I hope this year. If not, B-A-D month 2011? If you have a topic suggestion, comment here. I like comments anyway, especially if you disagree. That ends up being more fun for me. While I let anonymous comments go, I prefer that I can identify you in some way. If you don't want to be known, please go with an alias so that I'll know who you are if you come back.



And... begin! It's Blog-a-day month once again! This is the third year for blog-a-day month, so I know what I'm getting into. Not only that, but I'm the two time Blog-a-Day Month Champion, as I'm pretty much unanimously declared the winner every year. Lance comes close, but he doesn't have as much of my support as I do. And that's really all that matters in the end.

This month is going to be a little different from previous years. First, to go right along with B-A-D month, Lance has offered the Stan Lee Challenge! For those who don't know who Stan Lee is, 1. You suck and 2. you suck. Google him. Stan Lee has a certain style of writing his titles, and the challenge is that the blog titles will emulate that style. This is going to be really tough for me this month because all of my Essential editions of my comics are all stored away. I want to browse through the titles, but I don't have them. I found a short list of some Amazing Spider-Man titles on a webpage, but that's all I have. So keep an eye out on the titles, including this one, for a Stan Lee flair.

Second, it's Namaste It! month. This means I'm going vegetarian for the month of October. I don't really think this is going to be too difficult overall, but there will be some challenging days. Short version of the reason I'm choosing to do this is that I'm trying to get myself back into shape. I already challenged myself at the beginning of the school year to lose 20 pounds by the end of December. I hit the 200 pound mark, and I'm not interested in staying there. So 200 by 2010 is my goal. This morning I was 195, so exactly on target. My one consolation to myself for the month is that I'm going to allow myself to eat some fish 3 or 4 times. That's mostly because it's a habit I want to get into, and I think the time is right to consciously add it in. So Namaste It! will give me a few blog topics throughout the month, I think.

I think the first theme that I want to get into is to warn people why they SHOULDN'T read my blog. In general, nobody should. I'm an ass and my opinion shouldn't be taken into account by anyone. Ever. But if you still insist on reading, I want to talk you out of it. My goal is to offend everyone. Tomorrow I'll start listing some specific types of people who shouldn't read my blog because they are wrong. But here's a good start - if this sentence fucking offends you, stop reading today. See the rest of you soon!

Blog-a-day month Rules

October 1 begins the third annual Blog-a-Day month. Here are the rules.

1. As there is no prize or reward for following the rules, you may bend all rules. But because if you break the rules you aren't playing the game, no breaking the rules. Example of bending the rules: You go to bed at 2 AM, so before you go to bed you blog for the previous day. Breaking the rules: Skipping four days and blogging five times to make up for it.

2. A blog entry must be created everyday. More than one blog a day is encouraged.

3. No copy/paste blogs. You may copy/paste as back up or supplemental information, but not as the blog itself.

4. No journaling. If anyone wants to know how your day was, they are kindly making small talk. You must talk about shit. It CAN be about something that happened to you, but it must be an interesting or unique event OR used as a springboard to a discussion.

5. Every blog must have a subject or title.

6. Every blog must have substance. Can't post "I'm tired" and count it as a blog (hate people that do that). That can be a start, but you had better tell why and it had better be fascinating (or at least mildly interesting). I don't want to put a minimum number of sentences or words - make it worth clicking on your blog.

7. The occasional blog (and I leave it up to you to define occasional on your own) can be strictly photos if they are photos that you took and if they tell a story or show several things of special interest. Make it worth more than a glance.

8. The rare blog can be a video blog. But because I can read faster than you can talk, make it short and interesting.

9. If you use more than one blog, either double post or dedicate one blog. Don't make people search to see if you are cool enough to be a part of Blog-a-day October.

10. Proper GRAMMAR and SPELLING should be used as much as possible. Typos and errors, OK. Being an idiot, not OK. None of this text talk crap. If you wouldn't say it in real life (stupid commercials don't count), don't blog it. (BS is OK. OK is OK. IDK is not). Emoticons are OK.

I love the airport!

Ah, the airport. A place filled with sunshine and rainbows, good will and smiles all around. As I type this, I'm being jerked around the Philadelphia airport. The airplane required some kind of maintenance, and then they decided to replace the plane. First we had to check-in again, because some seats might have changed with the new plane. I was spared any change. Soon after we all went through that fun, they decided to send us to a completely different gate, in a completely different terminal. Good times!

I was reflecting earlier about things that I've learned from traveling. And the flight is just as important as anything else to the happiness of your trip. The big deal about the flight is that it's going to be the most uncomfortable part of the vacation. Please excuse my voice, as I choose to switch back and forth between first and second person. You understand, I'm sure.

First you have to make your way to the airport. This time, I rode BART. How much more exciting can a vacation be to start with an hour and 20 minute BART ride with the Bay Area's finest citizens? Luckily, BART now goes directly to the airport, making things more comfortable.

Second, you get to check in. This time I was smart and checked in online. That meant that I didn't get the thrill of standing in line for 20 minutes. Once you reach the front, you get to hand your ID to the ticket taker. That person will then spend the next 20 minutes staring at the screen and occasionally typing. They then get to ask you the questions about whether you had your bags with you the whole time, but they don't look at you when they ask said questions. Nor do I think they notice when you answer. Since I don't check in luggage, they then stare at my bag for about 30 seconds, wondering whether to make me check it in or not. Finally, they push one more button and my ticket pops out.

Third, on to security. This is that place in the US where we bend over and ask them to shove the Bill of Rights right up our asses. But of course or safety must be MUCH more important than liberty. I mean that person in front of me could have done some serious damage with that hair gel. I might have gotten my hair gelled. And the Ziploc bag of Nutter Butter bites in my pocket certainly warranted me getting pulled to the side for a full search. I'm guessing that someone was worried about travelers with peanut allergies.

Fourth, you get to go to the gate. And sit there. For an hour and a half, because you were smart and showed up extra early "just in case." For me, this hour and a half is filled with wondering, once again, if they are going to make me check in my bag. Yes, it's the correct size for a carry on, but these guys like to make you check them just for fun. On the way to DC this past spring, the guy at the gate walked by me and gave that 30 second stare to my bag as I had it on my back. I think they are trained in that stare, their minds filled with geometric computations and visions of me pissed when they make me check it. He then said," I don't know if that bag will make it. We might have to check it." I coolly responded, "It's fine. It will fit." He stared again, and mumbled as he walked away, "We might have to check it." I didn't see him again. Jedi mind trick, bitches.

Fifth, your anxiety for the trip builds up again, because you're getting on the plane! You jump to the line when they finally call your "zone," only to find the line extends out of the plane and into the walkway leading back to the gate. Why? Because they load the plane from the front. And people take five minutes to adjust themselves in the aisle. Finally you get to your seat, where you then sit for another half hour. And these seats are the comfort equivalent to the desks in my classroom, which is strange because they look quite plush. It's a miracle of design. After slowly taxi-ing (?) around the airport, you finally get to take off. That adrenaline builds because you're finally on your way! The plane lifts off and... you feel like you're in the exact same place. That plane is moving, but the uncomfortable seat is only going to get worse and worse over the next several hours. All the adrenaline form the excitement leaks out of your body.

Finally, we're ready for the decent. The plane is coming to the ground! Another half hour later, it finally lands. After another 20 minutes of taxi-ing (??), we're to the gate. And everyone stands up. And remains standing for another 15 minutes. I'm an experienced traveler. I stay in my seat. Suckers. And then you're off the plane! Here you are in… your connecting city. Let's do most of it all over again.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

European preflections

I'm about to head back to Europe. As an adult, this will be my fourth trip. As I lived in Europe for four years as a kid, it's tough to have an overall count. In the broad scope of people who would consider themselves to be real travelers, I'm very much an amateur. But for the average American, sad as it may be, I'm practically an expert. Before I depart for this next trip, I want to write out some things I've learned from my first trip.

The first trip was to Italy. The biggest thing I had to figure out in that trip was how to pack. I bought a suitcase that also served as a backpack and was also small enough to carry on. I spent days and days trying to pack up everything I thought I would need for a couple weeks and make it fit. It didn't work. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get it all to fit in that tiny pack. So I returned it and bought the next size up. I had to check it, and it was heavy.

What I figured out while I was there was that my packing problems were due to my casual American clothes. You see, to be a light packer, you need to be able to do laundry quickly and easily in the sink in the hotel room. With jeans, cotton shirts, boxers, and socks, you can't really do that. They need to soak longer, they need more activation in the water, and they take way too long to dry. That means that you need to find laundry facilities, and that not only takes money, but too much time. So I had to bring more shirts, boxers, and socks in order to stretch out the time. So before the next trip, I spent some cash at REI before going to get some travel clothes. Now every few days on the trip, I fill the sink with water, a few drops of Woolite, and soak the clothes for awhile. Then swish them around for awhile, rinse, stamp out the water, and they are clean and dry the next morning. If you plan to travel light, get some travel clothes.

I also learned the need to have the occasional link to home. I left with this mentality that I was going to travel correctly as a European - there was no way I was eating at McDonalds! That didn't last too long, as I soon discovered that while I like trying new stuff, I don't always like what I try. The lousy meal can easily be followed up with a Big Mac. I had plenty of lousy meals, as on that trip, I wasn't good at picking places to eat. I didn't really learn that until the next trip.

But it was a strong link to home that I had near the end of the trip that allowed me to make it happily through the last few days. My last stop on that trip was five days in Rome. For the previous 10 days or so, I had been dropped head first into this other culture. Cold drinks were rare. I didn't often hear English. On that first day in Rome, I had to do laundry one last time. Again, it was an inconvenience of time. But I had also spent the past couple days doing a lot of exhausting activities, so I was beat. I knew I had five more days, but I was feeling like they might be spent just lying in my hotel. I needed something to kick me in the butt.

So I was lucky to find a full service laundry. I just had to drop off everything, and it would be ready a few hours later. So I started walking around to find food. By that time, it was an almost dreaded activity. As I mentioned before, I wasn't good at finding food. Even in Italy, which has some of the best food on Earth, I had found some of the either worst or most expensive (or both) food imaginable (Yep, even pizza. I managed to find the worst pizza ever in Venice). But on this night, fate was with me. I turned a corner to find this nice little neighborhood with outdoor dining, fairly typical of Europe. And right in the middle, there it was. It was a beautiful sight. It was - The Hard Rock Cafe.

You see, if I were to find a Hard Rock Cafe anywhere else, at any other time, I would probalby keep on walking. Yeah, I've had a Hard Rock T-Shirt before. I've eaten there and enjoyed the decor. But after leaving my early 20s, I lost interest. But you see, there were a few things that linked me back to home. Of course, they played music videos the whole time. American videos. Comfort music from home. I had a big, fat burger that wasn't a McDonalds burger. I had a Caesar salad, so that I would feel like I was still in the Roman spirit. But the best thing of all was the drink. It was a Pepsi. With ICE. And free refills. Even though I was there and went through it myself, I feel a bit like an idiot even typing about the event and how excited I was for ice and refills. But at that moment almost six years ago, it was a huge deal, and it got me through the next few days with a renewed vigor.

I don't want to type out the stories right now, but here are some other things I learned about travel in Europe. 1. Always check your pizza to see if it was cut into slices. 2. Check the top of your bottle to see if it's a twist off. 3. If you aren't 100% sure you know where the bus goes after your stop, don't stay on to sight see. They don't all make round trips (D'oh!)

My second trip was the biggie. I was there for six weeks, covering as much of Western Europe as I could. I discovered that it was just a bit too long. I was ready to come home about about five, and I kinda started losing it a bit. When you start talking to yourself out loud (in your head or mumbling lightly is always perfectly acceptable) at the Aquarium Portugal about the majesty of the Ocean (singular), it's about two days after you should have gone home.

The third trip was to Central Europe. You can see the details of that trip on my website (www.scottcharris.com), though I still haven't finished the last four days. I keep telling myself that I will actually finish the website, and perhaps this trip will encourage me to do so. I tried to make the site much more complicated than it needed to be. For this trip, I'm going to post some pictures and updates to the blog. I know that I'll put something on the website. But it won't be as complicated, especially since I don't really know how to use the software that I have on this laptop.

So here's the approximate schedule. I arrive in Stockholm Wednesday morning. I'll take an overnight cruise to Tallinn, Estonia, then spend Thursday night there. On Friday, I speed up to Helsinki, Finland and spend the night there. Saturday night I'll take another overnight cruise back to Stockholm. On Sunday I start the tour. Here are the details. Late afternoon of the tours end, Day 14 ( July 4) I'll fly back to Oslo to spend the night before flying back home on the 5th. So when I have some internet access, I'll let you know how I'm doing and show you a few pictures.

Clean sweep!

The committee has decided! Every week, every month, and now the year. It's quite an honor, and it's good to know when you're the best.


And just for the sake of posterity before I have to erase it:

Heh heh - taint

The worst taint is ignorance. Destroy this one taint and become taintless. - Buddha...

Sin the Beginning part 1

I. Creation

In the beginning there was nothing. Scientists, philosophers, scholars, and clergy studied everything. They looked high and low. They looked near and far. The analyzed, prayed, discussed, and wrote reports. They all came to the same conclusion. There was nothing. Most importantly, they all agreed that they didn’t exist either.

From the nothingness formed a cloud. And after the beginning there was nothing except for the cloud. The cloud began to cry. There are some sad things known to man, but ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a cloud. Sadness grew from the dark puddle. The sadness turned to rocks, which formed the mighty land mass Earth. From the land mass grew trees. The cloud had something to rain upon. The cloud grew happy, but continued to cry. These tears of joy formed a puddle of delight that spread across the Earth. These were the seas.

The trees began to suffocate and run in circles. The cloud saw that its friends, the trees, were dying. It let out a gasp of horror. This gasp became the wind, and it covered the Earth. The trees breathed the wind deep into their lungs. They lived. They were so happy to live that they planted their roots deep into the ground, never to walk again.

A single bird landed in a tree. Neither the clouds, the Earth, the darkness, the wolverines, nor the trees knew where the bird came from, as there had been nothing before them. But the bird built a nest. Soon it laid eggs, and four of the five eggs hatched. These birds were named North, South, East, and Down. They flew to the four corners of the round Earth, and the directions were named after them.

Down was attacked by one of the ice dwarfs. The fifth bird, West, finally hatched and killed the ice dwarf. West noticed that Down hadn’t actually been killed by the ice dwarf. He had simply flown straight into the ground, as this was his name. He was also not smart. The ice dwarf had been trying to revive Down. The ice dwarf, whose name was Rudolfo, had a giant father. This giant ice dwarf vowed revenge upon the birds, and clapped his hands three times. And this created the heavens. Rudolfo, who had previously been dead, asked his father not to take revenge on the birds. And this created a system of bartering.

Time passed, and the bird moved to another tree and built another nest. This time, he decided that he was lonely and wanted a wife so he could start a family. They began to pray, but soon noticed that there were no gods in the heavens. They took apart their nest and moved to the ground. The bird’s wife died of sadness. The cloud rained sadness once again, and the Earth was flooded. The bird flew again to the tops of the trees, but they were soon not high enough. The rocks began to stand upon each other and formed mountains. The bird flew to the top of these mountains to wait for the flood to end.

The ice dwarfs also ran to the mountains. They mourned their dead. When they came to the top of the mountain they met the bird. The bird and the ice dwarfs began to talk and knew that they couldn’t fight while the Earth was flooded. As soon as the ice dwarfs turned their backs, the bird attacked and killed half of the ice dwarfs. This is why birds and dwarfs of all kinds hate each other today. The blood that flowed from the veins of the dead ice dwarfs began to flow across the Earth and formed the rivers, creeks, and babbling brooks of the world.

Soon the waters descended. The ice dwarfs returned to their homes and the bird to its. But as the bird slept, it was attacked by the ice dwarf Rudolfo, whose father had been killed by the bird. Rudolfo plucked out all of feathers of the bird and planted them in the sky. The feathers began to melt. The feather vapors made their way to the heavens and began to form the gods. The ice dwarf plucked the eyes from the bird and cast them into the sky. One became the sun. The other the moon. The bird pleaded for mercy, and it was granted by Rudolfo’s father, who had previously been dead. This is why ice dwarfs and birds of all kinds live in harmony today.

II. Life

The gods were three brothers, Mitch, Ruben, and Clancy. They looked down upon the Earth and noticed that it was bare. They plucked hairs from their heads and planted them in the ground, and these became the trees. They melted the ice dwarfs and cast them across the Earth and these became the seas. But they knew that the Earth needed more. It needed life. They asked the scholars, scientists, philosophers, and clergy what to do. They agreed that the gods should create man.

The gods went to the bird and plucked a single feather and planted it in the ground. This became man, who they named Adam. The man went to the bird and plucked another feather. Adam planted it in the ground as he had been shown by the gods. This feather became man, who they named Steve. The bird then flew away, and they could get no more feathers. This is why birds and man of all kinds hate each other today. This is why they named their land Maize.

Adam and Steve lived in happiness for many years. They both had a joy in their hearts. But even though they were so gay, as hard as they tried, they could not produce another man. The gods took pity. They trimmed their toenails and planted them in one pile in the ground. This became woman, who they named Mildred. All three, Mildred, Adam, and Steve followed the directions of the gods, and soon Mildred was with child. The gods looked down and noticed that it was good. This is why parents today come in threes.


TBC...

Well, well, well

I don't know why, but this is the funniest damn thing ever. EVER!