2011 will go down in history as the year that I was told by a coworker that a bowl of boiling water looked good, and not in a sarcastic/ironic/silly way. Seriously.
The funniest thing I saw in theaters this year wasn’t a movie. It was
a Sprite commercial. If you go the movies half as much as I do, you
might have seen this gem. In it, Drake is ready to record, but he’s
“just not feelin’ it.” Because what he does requires raw emotion. The
emotion you can only get… from Sprite. So after looking sad, he drinks
some Sprite. The Sprite turns him into a robot, enters his body and
rearranges his very DNA! After the Sprite surges through his body, Drake
gets pissed at the microphone and yells into it, “Last name Evew, first
name gweatest.” That’s what he was waiting for. That’s what we were all
waiting for. And for the first few times I saw it, I didn’t even notice
the funniest part, which is his lyric at the end “Like a sprained ankle
I aint’ nothin to play with.” That’s hilarious.
And the tie for worst song is Lil’ Wayne’s shitfest “How to Love.” My
theory is that Lil’ Wayne must be a necrophiliac because his version of
love is boring someone to death, apparently to make love to their bored
ass. Seriously, someone forgot to wake him up for the first few minutes
of the song. And then he gets excited for a few seconds as he repeats
the word crook seemingly 27 times in a row. I yell at the radio for him
to stop saying “crooks,” and then he falls back to sleep for the rest of
the song. And we all learn how to love.
It’s funny because Drake, J. Cole, and Lil’ Wayne made an impacted
ass load of money for that crap while the delicious bowl of boiling
water got nothing but oatmeal dumped into it.